Once you become vegan it’s rather harrowing to discover just how many items in your home and life come from animals or animal by-products. For many it’s one of those Que Sera, Sera things; for others it sparks an overhaul of everything from the pantry to the closet. There is the assumption that eating and living vegan is an elite, expensive venture, and that food especially with animal products is not only “easier” but also cheaper. So-called ethical vegans will refuse to touch or own leather, and some will even consider pleather and other faux products to be in bad taste, but poor or new vegans may be rather hesitant to part with treasured, nostalgic items, or simply practical items which cannot easily be replaced. Whilst there are vegan versions of Doc Martens or other products that have seen one through mosh pits, university or the everyday on-your-feet jobs, these may seem on the face of it to be costly, or that going vegan means a severe and sudden drain on one’s bank account and a few hundred trips to the local charity store to drop off the entire contents of one’s home.

There are also issues to be had if you share your life and home with an omnivore or whether you would even consider it. Some vegans don’t mind cooking non-vegan foods for their loved ones or sharing pots, pans, and utensils, but others (like myself!) cringe at the thought of “cross contamination” and keep separate sponges, servings spoons and the like for the odd morsel of animal product that enters the house. Going vegan is a serious decision, and sitting down to negotiate terms is less about creating a dictatorship and more about ensuring that all these odds and ends are figured out in a way that doesn’t disrespect anyone or put them ill at ease in their own home. Omnivores are people too!

So what is a vegan to do? Here are some tips and tough questions to get you started:

Start small. No-one is going to rip your head off if you don’t throw out every single leather or wool item on your vegan birthday, and if they do then they’re not playing nice and you should ignore them or at least respectfully decline their opinion. Ask yourself what your priorities are and go systematically through your house and life.

Clothes and cosmetic products:

• Wear it ’til it’s weathered/donate/sell: Many people choose to wear their non-vegan clothes, cosmetics and accessories until they are too worn for further use and only then start shopping cruelty-free. Many simply cannot afford to get rid of their one pair of work shoes or don’t have a budget to buy another winter jacket or raincoat this year. Don’t let anyone bully you, but start carefully assessing your closet and putting items up for donation. Do you really need all those leather bags, or can you give them to charity and survive with your canvas tote? Do you have a friend that admires your woolen scarf and would appreciate a spontaneous gift? Many vegans believe that non-vegan items should be disposed of entirely because it makes you a walking billboard for cruelty, and others feel that since it exists it might as well go to someone who will appreciate it. Make up your own mind: there is no cut-out vegan, but you can live with abundantly, compassionately, and not to mention fashionably.

• Start shopping vegan for new items: Whatever your decisions about what you already own, try and make sure your future splurges and shopping trips are cruelty-free by checking labels and scouring the web. Start saving up for a good pair of vegan shoes if you feel off-the-rack synthetic products are too flimsy or lacking in style. For make-up you can easily check out local vegan brands on the web or even subscribe to Vegan Cuts Beauty Box for a monthly surprise. Going vegan isn’t a punishment! You can still look gorgeous and buy wonderful things that doesn’t involve suffering. Seriously, chic vegan!
• Keep others informed: this applies more if you’re the sort to get woolly socks for the holidays or specially knitted goodies from family and friends. You may feel like a pain but it’s better than declining a gift that someone’s worked on for months or carefully chosen for your pleasure. It really depends on your relationship with the gifter; sometimes you can re-gift with ease if it’s a once-off exchange, and other times your family members will ask why you’re not using such and such an item and be very offended if it’s not on your person or proudly displayed. You may get the whole “I don’t know what to get you” vibe because so many go-to gifts are based on animal products, so perhaps suggest they donate to your favourite charity or else demand decadent vegan chocolate, depending on your personality.

Food and eating out:

• Trash, donate or dig in? Again this is a personal choice. Some people immediately bin their food items with animal products if it’s a sudden shift, others may donate the foodstuff, and a fair number will also splash out on “last meals” with pizzas piled high with extra cheese and salami or tubs of ice-cream swirled with blocks of white chocolate. If you’re grossed out by animal products then obviously the last point won’t apply to you, but seriously consider donating your food if possible. Whilst hardcore vegan activists will tell you you’re only encouraging others instead of educating them, there are enough hungry people in your local community that will say otherwise.
• Spring-cleaning the kitchen/living in a “multivore” home: Do you share your home with an omnivore? You may consider separate kitchen items to avoid frying your veggie stir fry in a pan that is used for meat most days, but this can be considered a pain for some who don’t really concern themselves with such matters and focus on “big-issue” vegan topics instead. Some people consider it enough to simply cook their own vegan food and let their partner make any additional dishes of their own choosing, but others find it difficult to reconcile their lifestyle with a constant reminder of animal cruelty. In our household we don’t bring any animal products in, and if my husband is accidentally gifted a pot of pesto made with cheese or we have to make wet food to medicate the cats there are spoons specific for that. I’m a rigid Capricorn, and he’s a very patient Taurus, if you’re into that sort of thing, but not every relationship can handle a hard-line attitude on one or both ends. If you are in a multivore relationship and household don’t be an ass, and don’t let other vegans make you feel like one either: you are your own vegan, but those sharing your household need respect too.

• Eating out and about: If you’re lucky enough to live in a city with lots of vegan restaurants and cafés, yay! If not, remember to call or email ahead and make inquiries about menu alterations. If you’re also concerned about how the food is prepared (AKA in meat-y pans and cheese-y mixing bowls) then again make sure you ask beforehand and don’t put your poor waiter on the spot. Many people will send back food that’s got animal products in it even after requesting a vegan meal (I’ve done this), and others think it extremely ungrateful.

If you’ve been invited to dine with friends or family at their home, at a park picnic, or whether you’re hosting it yourself, be sure to let the host/ess know if you’re either bringing your own grub and utensils or how they should prepare something for you. You may feel very embarrassed, especially if you’re a people-pleaser, but checking whether people actually know what vegan means will save you from a gelatin-laden cheesecake or a dingy salad that’s smothered in mayo at the last minute when you turn your back. For some vegans, however, it’s considered rude to decline vegetarian food, such as birthday cake or a specially prepared meal. Again, that mostly happens when people around you don’t know what vegan is or that you feel strongly about avoiding animal by-products. It’s up to you to decide how to handle each person and situation. Learn how to cook some basic but delicious vegan treats and meals to eat yourself or share so that eventually everyone will see that it’s not so terrible or assume that you’re deprived.

• Animal companions: Personally I feel that one has to seriously consider the health of your pet above all else, but more and more you can find vegan dog food or dog treat recipes online, for example. Some animals are not vegans and there aren’t always vegan alternatives: my cats eat special cat food for their wonky digestive systems that’s animal-based because there’s nothing on shelves or at the vet for that purpose that is vegan, at least not in my city. There’s even a poster at my vet with a cute cat that says “I’m not a vegetarian!”. It sucks but that’s life. There are conflicting opinions, so do your research and see what works for you. I’ve seen too many bird entrails and rat livers scattered across my carpets to have any doubts about what my kitties prefer, even if they occasionally do eat grass. If you’re a newly minted vegan try considering a vegan pet if it makes you feel better.

Living sustainably:

There are so many odds and ends when it comes to transitioning to an ethical vegan lifestyle that may not occur to you until it smacks you in the face. I didn’t give a second thought to my favourite comfy leather computer chair until one day when it hit me and wouldn’t stop nagging me until I got another chair. I’m still saving so that we can upholster the dining room chairs we were gifted, but I won’t apologize in the meanwhile for having leather seats when we don’t have the funds to go out and buy a brand new ethical set quite yet.

Being vegan doesn’t mean that you are automatically required to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and be a martyr for all things, but you may find that you naturally start considering more and more aspects of living differently and more compassionately, and that it may involve more than just changing what goes on your plate. Many vegans also have their own veggie gardens, recycle, are plastic-wary, and avoid palm oil products, but so too do non-vegans.

Whilst you go about your business of veganizing your home and life consider your actions not only from the perspective of a vegan in the world but as an individual who has the capacity to minimize waste and their negative impact on the environment and others. Don’t give yourself or others a hard time but find joy in transforming your life step by step! There is no such thing as the perfect or all-knowing vegan, and there will always be different camps.  Some fight to stay as “clean” as possible, and others advocate for chilling out and living stress-free.

Being and living vegan should become a natural part of your life and should mean compassion for both animals and humans. Navigating a vegan diet and lifestyle affects more than just you alone, so take the time to discuss changes you make with people around you so that cruelty-free living isn’t a social death sentence or something which precipitates a nervous breakdown that ends up with you living under a hemp tee-pee drinking puddle water in an effort to be the uber vegan, forgoing all earthly pleasures. Educating yourself is a lifelong process and it is possible to live abundantly as a vegan!

The post Veganizing your life and home appeared first on Chic Vegan.

There is an undeniable stigma attached to being a vegan and vegetarian in a prolifically omnivorous country such as South Africa, where I’m situated, and arguably across the world (though admittedly there are also prolific exceptions, such as India, of course). In such a context, it is rather a balancing act to be a diplomatic vegan that wishes to carve out a veggie-friendly space in the world but also not be blind to the fact that one is in the stark minority and is often considered physically and mentally malnourished.

To be honest, I’m rather sick of being considered sickly. I often feel that, by trying not to offend others and trying to be a compassionate, humanist vegan, I’m diminishing a part of myself that wishes to advocate more fiercely as an anti-speciesist – again, without alienating or denigrating my own species. I’m always relieved when websites like Vegans Are Cool or articles like Kathy’s Vegans Are Not Annoying pop up on the blogosphere, and that there are vegans who advocate for a positive attitude on all sides, but at the same time I desperately want to send out mass emails to all my family and friends with videos of cows being separated from their babies for their milk, or articles which advocate for actual reform, not just tolerance.

How does one take a “stand” and actively campaign for veganism as more than just a diet and lifestyle in the broad sense of the word without being perceived as aggressive, fringe or radical? We’ve all seen PETA supporters strip down (it’s pretty much the first thing that pops up if you type in “PETA protest”), or others who have had themselves branded with a cattle iron to get their point across, but is there a space between all so-called extremes where one can exist as a vegan individual without making an argument out of everything and still face yourself in the mirror?

I honestly am amazed and thankful that there are such people out there who make waves and, as Emily points out, whose actions are not as extreme as what we do to animals (you can read her full article on the matter here). I’m in a way relieved when such people make a point of acknowledging that their actions and activism are out of their comfort zone, but that then makes me question my vegan profile even more considering they still manage to be vocal somehow and I just post recipes and get into relationships with omnivores.

As much as it pains me, I often don’t think I’m vegan enough, despite doing my best (in a friendly fashion) to educate and engage with those around me (almost all omnivores in Real Life) on where animal products are hiding, why I gave away my leather wedding shoes (despite being amazingly comfortable), and forgoing all birthday cake that I myself did not make or supervise (no matter how rude it may seem to abstain). I don’t form rallies, don’t troll the internet for anti-vegan sentiments to argue against, nor do I wish to, because it’s not my personality – yet. A few years ago I could barely leave the house because of a gripping fear of people and extreme all-round anxiety, so even blogging or doing my job where I have to sit at a center surrounded by students already pushes my limits. And yet, what is that compared to the cruelty faced by animals – who honestly cares about my fears when other creatures live in fear every day of their lives?

Am I perhaps required by my moral conscience to test myself and put my morality before my human, functional self, and in so doing acknowledge that the two are very different and must function separately in order for me to be outspoken and less tactful as a vegan but still be my diplomatic self in other situations? In that case I have even less reason to rant and “radicalize” myself artificially, because by admitting that it would be outside my comfort zone and outside the realm of possibility without schism would also mean I would have to be tolerant and diplomatic towards non-vegans if I don’t want to make a complete hypocrite of myself.

After all, you do get omnivores and vegetarians that will swear up and down that they love animals, and may even work with animal rescue and the like and still indulge in cheese, meat, or animal products or be party to the process. So, back to square one. Essentially, some vegans, like myself, will have to make peace with the fact that we can’t all be militant or vibrant or out-there activists that challenge people outright, but instead help non-vegans get to grips with the idea and the reasoning through pleasant chit-chat, talking about animal welfare in general, or sharing yum food photos. It doesn’t mean we aren’t any less aware or compassionate towards animals, the environment, or issues of morality and rights.

Being a blogger for two+ years and heavily stalking/admiring vegan and vegetarian bloggers for long before that, however, I must admit that the kind, bubbly, non-“aggressive” vegans are also doing amazing things for bringing veganism as a plight and life purpose to light. I was in no small part convinced that I would survive physically and mentally as a vegan by delicious food recipes and seeing a vibrant, friendly community that made a point of providing easy “how-to” guides for transitioning, or helpful “what the heck is veganism anyway?” pages on their blogs for the randoms who somehow stumbled in their direction. Again, positivity attracts certain people, and the stark reality of what faces animals each and every day speaks to a completely different crowd – they are not mutually exclusive, of course, but in terms of taking action it is difficult to be all things at once.

The UN advocating for veganism for mostly environmental reasons isn’t perfect, in that it doesn’t address animal cruelty as a key reason, but vegans should take what they can get, or is that exactly the point – they shouldn’t, whether as individuals or as a group, and instead fight for more? There is, as is only natural in human society, no conformity, no absolute unity within veganism. For some it’s just code for a health-based lifestyle, for others a trial run, and for others an absolute commitment to eradicating an on-going massacre. In such a set-up then, how can there be set terms and conditions or a consensus on moral duties to which all vegans must subscribe to and advocate? Is it possible to say what is “enough” to be able to truly claim veganism for yourself?

There can surely not be such a thing, but I believe that a positive and supportive attitude makes a big difference, no matter your starting point, in reaching others and addressing issues that spring from veganism, whether it be environmental, ethical or edible. I get mushy when I read that the people who started Veganuary” are described as “working hard” rather than a “dairy-despising” couple who want people to be unhappy (both articles being from the same website, strangely enough), and I want people, vegan or otherwise, to feel good about veganism, even if they don’t actually want to become vegan.

Some might argue I’m letting down the whole of the animal kingdom by saying such a thing, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t watch the gory, heart-wrenching documentaries or read the stats of how many animals are abused, tested on and killed every moment of each day – I just know how to read my audience and when to push boundaries, and when to wait for another day.

I would like to think that if there were a world in which humans were actively being bred, held captive, and eventually slaughtered to be consumed or harvested (a world which in many respects is already real), there would be an outcry of massive proportions, but even now when we have human trafficking, modern day slavery, and even human breast milk for sale, there is still a lack of outrage from every individual or community, so trying to shock people into recognizing that they may have a form of cognitive dissonance when it comes to the experiences of other animals for consumption or exploitation seems rather fruitless then.

After all, people will lovingly feed pond ducks and then eat dead ducks with no qualms. In that sense being a diplomatic, Powerpoint presentation kinda vegan only fulfills a minor function in transforming opinions and society, but so too do the so-called extremists. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean one has to stop trying.

Clare Mann, in an article entitled How to be an Effective Vegan Advocate, says “Let’s be the best example for veganism – in our health, appearance, compassion, outlook and ability to listen – then people will look to us and say ‘Whoa! How can I have this too?’”. When I read articles like this I feel much better about myself; there’s always room for more advocacy, but I don’t want antagonism. Together with Sara Kidd, Clare runs courses that tackle vegan advocacy through communication skills development, and that drives me absolutely wild with glee because it’s good to know there are always different ways of approaching people with your passion; words, in such cases, need not be barren to creating change.

If only it were as easy as laying down the bare facts to fight our case, as Aristotle would say (whatever “our case” may be, when again there are so many types of vegans). Not everyone responds well to being cornered, or are quick to feel that way regardless of your approach, but again, this is where those how-to guides or courses geared for communicating your beliefs and worldview are invaluable tools for some to laying the foundation for future advocacy and change; a starting point or comfort zone, it shouldn’t really matter or be any less important than other less circumspect methods.

Just as you get lazy vegans, obese vegans, snarky and smoothie vegans, I’m trying to get to a space where being a diplomatic vegan is legit and no less than being in-your-face. It makes me a bit despondent that my personality holds me back and forces me to micromanage how I portray veganism, such as very occasionally posting videos of abused or exploited animals to my Marfigs Facebook feed and not to my Margaux Facebook friends page, but I’m still satisfied that people who know me by my actual name aren’t in any doubt about who I am and what I believe in.

I guess my point is that there are so many forms of veganism, and within that so many forms of being visible or actively vegan, that, much like anything else in one’s life, it’s up to each individual to carve out their own way of handling things and to be able to justify their action (or lack thereof) to themselves. I can’t end this article with helpful hints or common pitfalls, because there are too many variables. There’s a lot of shaming going on in the vegan community of people who have “jumped ship” or do things in their own way,  but in a world of misinformation, prejudice and plain old idiocy, I don’t want to be a dead-end for curious omnivores or vegans with different objectives and opinions; I want to be an open door.

For the moment, I hope being a diplomatic vegan is enough, though I will continue to challenge myself as best I can, and can only hope others do the same.

The post Being a diplomatic vegan appeared first on Chic Vegan.

Others are more forgiving in their outlook, and don’t see any problem with the idea of a co-existence, so long as each party keeps to their morals and doesn’t step on the other’s toes. It’s easier said than done, but that’s what I’ve got with my husband, for better or worse. I was a vegetarian when we met and wed, and all ideas of him “converting” to veggie-ism quickly faded when his self-imposed trial run/new leaf was bested by some sosatie sticks fed to him by his very relieved father and avid barbeque king.

I don’t imagine he ever saw me becoming a vegan, considering my long ramblings about how vegans were crazy, and cheese and ice-cream being two pillars of my existence as a frivolous university student. Too bad for him, because a month or two after we got hitched I had to break it not only to my family but also to his. What I got was the biggest surprise of my life: amused acceptance, but acceptance nonetheless.

Even when I was a vegetarian, at the beginning of our life together, I would insist on separate sponges for my food products and his meaty variety, different pots and pans, and much sadness about my brand new oven being used for chicken. Somehow I scored big and he offered, on his own steam, to stop bringing animal products into the home. Yay!

All his little efforts to accommodate me, from standing up on my behalf when I get the wrong order at the restaurant or calmly explaining to friends or strangers why his wife isn’t totally nuts and that South Africans do, in fact, eat too much meat, make me wonder why people might see us as morally incompatible. He’s usually the one to save and release lizards that have snuck into our house, or gets super emotional when he sees the cats at the shelter behind bars. He makes up silly songs and personalities for our kitties, and has a no-kill policy for spiders. It’s not the same thing as being vegan, but it’s still more than most would do.

I love my omnivore, even if he moans in pleasure when served meat at a restaurant or at his parents’ home. I love that he can give a speech on cross contamination when watching people prepare food for us like a hawk, careful to slide a veggie-only spoon in the chef’s hand instead of letting the meat fork do the job of serving salad. He also knows smooching is forbidden after he indulges in a meat fest, unless he spends a good while on oral hygiene. He doesn’t mind and calls it “cute”. Deranged? Possibly, but that’s what keeps us going. Each side is crazy for the other and willing to do crazy things to keep the other happy, even if it isn’t because of their own ideas or convictions.

Point being, if he’s so accepting, understanding and enabling of my veganism, why should I give him grief for never wanting to watch Earthlings, as much as that would be the best present ever? We may have fundamental differences of opinion in terms of how resolved we are on what we consume and why, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love animals or me any less. I’m not going to berate him or plead with him or our families to stop eating animal products, as much as I may see it as logical, because they always make sure I’m welcome in their homes and lives.

Compassion for other people is sometimes more difficult than practicing compassion with animals I find, but starting in a relationship, not just a casual friendship or at a workplace space, is one of the best places to develop mutual understanding and respect on a level that focuses on the long-term, because chances are not everyone you meet is going to agree with you or your lifestyle, your ethical choices or your diet. It doesn’t mean you can’t love them or that you have to choose between veganism and an individual, or live in a vegan-only bubble, because chances are it could get very lonely.

Loving an omnivore doesn’t make me any less of a dedicated vegan, but I choose not to impose my world view on those I love. Some would argue that I’m being ignorant of the impact I could have, and that I should just take the risk and push the issues I hold dear onto loved ones, but forcing others to concede to my so-called greater wisdom would be defeating the purpose of self-actualization, which is something every person should experience for and of themselves. My husband is still awesomesauce even if he loves his barbeque, because that is not all he is. In the meanwhile, I won’t hold my breath, unless it’s to get smooched (and only after he brushes his teeth).

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